Well, I have come to the conclusion that I am writing in virtual anonymity because I never have any comments on my blogs. With this in mind, I find I feel free to truly express myself. I am so frustrated with my life.
I worked like crazy for four LONG years to complete a degree that cost me a small fortune, but I have literally nothing to show for it. I have applied for hundreds of teaching positions around the state of Ohio with no results, and I am so tired. I am very tired.
I believe that God has a plan, but I am so confused right now. What could possibly be the point of all of this waiting? I pause, but I pursue. I know I need to rest in His promises, but I feel so . . . disappointed.
1 comment:
hey there! well, i don't know exactly what you're going through, but I'm in college right now, and i'm wondering what the heck i'm supposed to be doing with it. Life, it's not meant to be easy... I think that when I look at myself now, I don't like half of what I see, and I want things to be so different. I don't want the struggles, and i don't want the waiting, but right now, i'm just thinking, how amazing could my future be if i can endure the waiting.. I mean, I wonder how I am going to be 10 years from now.. If i don't wait, i'm almost afraid to think of my future. I know everyone always says, oh, it's a waiting period, God's got it in control, and i know that's true, but i don't think that has ever helped me personally. No amount of human encouragement or "wisdom" can explain or get you through the experiences God has for you. He puts you through them almost in a humorous way:one that does not allow us to understand. I guess the benefit of waiting, is that it shapes who we will someday be. The more we trust him, and not our "understanding" idk, i guess the more we'll understand later. I almost think if i had the choice to pick between trials and then peace, or peace and then trials, i would pick the trials, and then peace. Because then I would know that it wasn't in vain... So, I will pray for you.. Life is definitely not easy for me right now... IT's a battle between wanting to be happy, and not being able to find it anywhere... I hate feeling down, and everyone else only seeing me down, and feeling like a failure because of it. But I go to God with it.. I know it's not going to be all for nothing... I hope you have a great day :) God bless,
Lauren
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